The War Through the Eyes of Meduza Readers. Today We Are Publishing a Letter from Yekaterina in Moscow

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War. What is happening on day 1588. China “strongly urged” Russia and Ukraine to resume talks on ending the war. China’s official position was presented at a U.N. Security Council meeting by China’s permanent representative to the organization, Sun Lei. This came shortly after…

The war through the eyes of Meduza readers. Today we are publishing a letter from Yekaterina in Moscow

I was unlucky. My parents (educated people with academic degrees!), many acquaintances, neighbors supported the hell that began on 24.02.22. And I cried so hard, cried so hard that day! As if someone had died. Looking back now, I see that my country really did die. The one where there was education, healthcare, international ties, some kind of development and forward movement, it no longer exists and will not exist for decades to come. Ahead lies the pitch-black darkness of totalitarianism, which very soon will replace Putin’s authoritarianism, with even more repression, even more killings in prisons and in the streets.

I do not see a single “good” scenario for Russia to get out of this situation. It is unbearably painful for me to watch the crimes being committed in Ukraine, including in my name. But it is no less painful to watch what my country and the people living in it are sliding into. It is as if we were cursed by someone long ago.

Depression, unending depression, is now the normal state of honest, thoughtful, empathetic people. Everyone else is doing everything they can to pretend nothing is happening: Moscow is blooming and thriving! Summer! Strolls, festivals, concerts, luxurious restaurant terraces, cheerful faces of fashionably dressed people, and all of it makes me sick. Because every day an incredible number of people are dying. Children! Thousands are left without shelter, fleeing into the unknown. My country has brought so much grief to its neighbor!

Some people reproach me for lacking patriotism, but to me, [as Polish publicist Adam Michnik said] “patriotism is defined by the degree of shame a person feels for crimes committed in the name of his people.” And I am ashamed... very ashamed!

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