War Through the Eyes of Meduza Readers. Today We Are Publishing a Letter from Lesya in Moscow

Meduza — LIVE:

War. What is happening on day 1592? St. Petersburg came under a large-scale attack by Ukrainian drones on the night of July 4, local authorities reported. A fire broke out at an oil terminal that Ukraine had already attacked a month ago. In the Leningrad region…

War Through the Eyes of Meduza Readers. Today We Are Publishing a Letter from Lesya in Moscow

I was 20 when the war began. Before that, I had been going through the Covid period very hard because of illnesses in my family, studying remotely was difficult, but by 2022 it had finally started to let go and it seemed like things were gradually getting better. And then this started.

Since that moment, life has felt either frozen or drastically slowed down. It feels like I can’t keep up with what is happening around me. I just watch from the sidelines as people I know in Ukraine stop responding, as former schoolmates / university classmates / friends of friends disappear at the front. As my chances of making something of myself here in my profession melt away before my eyes, as prices rise and my family can no longer afford their medicines. I feel so lost.

This year, my last close friend is leaving the country. Everyone else already left. And I feel nothing except exhaustion and confusion. This will end someday, right? There has to come a moment when it no longer feels like all the supports on which you built your life have broken. I really want to believe that, but honestly, I have no strength left for it.

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