The war through the eyes of Meduza readers. Today we are publishing Anna’s letter

Meduza — LIVE:

Day 1541 of the war. Massive strike on Ukraine. What is known at this minute is in Meduza’s live coverage ✹ The Russian Armed Forces carried out a massive strike on Ukraine on the night of May 14. A nine-story residential building was destroyed in Kyiv. As of the time of publication, it is known…

The war through the eyes of Meduza readers. Today we are publishing Anna’s letter

I am very tired. Constant stress and fear of coming under attack or becoming collateral damage is killing everything alive inside me; everything fades into the background when your only dream is a life without unexpected air-raid alerts.

I have stopped sleeping normally, because I am woken either by real explosions or by projections of my constantly tense brain. I fall asleep only when my eyes can no longer stay open from lack of sleep. I sleep in my clothes, even when it is hot, so I can run somewhere faster if something страшное happens.

I am panic-stricken by the thought of staying home alone at night, afraid when my phone has less than 60% charge, and I do not go anywhere without it. I shake at every sound that reminds me of missiles and drones. I spend more time on the bathroom floor than in bed.

I am utterly exhausted; every day feels like my last, and I cannot make myself live the real life that I love. There is so much hatred in my soul toward everyone responsible for this war that it frightens even me. I do not understand why my life and the lives of millions of people like me were taken away.

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