Women are always to blame. But the fact that the father didn’t want to or couldn’t make room for himself somehow counts as normal, and no one judges them”

“Women are always to blame. But the fact that the father didn’t want to or couldn’t make room for himself somehow counts as normal, and no one judges them”

In communities where military relatives talk to each other, disputes are flaring up around women who gave birth by participants in the “SVO” and are trying to prove it after the child’s father has died, Verstka has noted.

“Exes with dashes” is the dismissive term used for such women. In their children’s birth certificates, the “father” line most often contains a dash or a made-up male name.

Some accuse the mothers who decide to establish paternity through the courts of greed, saying they want to get part of the death compensation. Others support them and urge people not to remove responsibility from the father.

Elena, whom Verstka spoke with, established paternity for her teenage son many years after his birth. According to her, the biological father took no interest in his son and did not help raise him. When Elena found out that he had signed a contract and died in the war, she filed a lawsuit, won, and the child received part of the death compensation payments.

“Personally, I didn’t want to be a single mother, but that’s how it turned out for us,” she says about her situation. Elena does not react to judgmental comments directed at mothers like her: “People are angry now, and it’s easier for them to count other people’s money than to understand why all this is happening.”

Read about how Russian women prove they gave birth by a participant in the war in Ukraine on the Verstka website (with VPN):

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Verstka

“Exes with dashes”: how Russian women establish paternity of children they gave birth to by participants in the “SVO”

This leads to quarrels, scandals, and court cases